Put a basketball on the ground. On it put:
A. A plank of wood.
B. A wet towel*.
Sometimes in BJJ / Grappling you need to be the plank of wood (projecting gravity through a small contact area with them which frees your limbs for mobility and attack) and sometimes you need to be the wet towel (maximizing friction, minimizing your own efforts, unifying both masses into one). Leverage hunters will master the plank version (constant pressure from the side control, half guard and mount top which can be tiring for both) and muscle-heads the wet towel version (constant closeness, perfect tight control but don't dare attack fearing the well-timed escape).
High quality Brazilian Jiu Jitsu players I've rolled with fluidly switch between the two almost without working up a sweat. It's not that they smother the submission out of you, which is still a valid grappling strategy, but rather the submission seems to come when you least expect it. They don't chuck you out of the frying pan into the fire. You walk into it voluntarily. That's BJJ.
*The Wet-towel analogy came to me from an excellent Roy Harris article on using Space in BJJ.
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